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JOURNEY INTO ISLAM
Khadija Watson
Professor, Theologian, Missionary, Pastor, Church Planter, Licensed
Ordained Minister, fundamentalist Christian, not a likely candidate for
Islam. Yet, 6 years ago, after being raised in the Christian church all
my life, (first as a Roman Catholic and then as a Born-Again,
Spirit-Filled Christian) and having completed a Standard Ministerial
Diploma, Bachelor of Theology and a Master of Divinity, I embraced
Islam! What was it that brought about such a radical change?
I started to question Christian beliefs while I was studying for my
Master's degree. As was my habit, I read through the Bible once every
year for 12 years. I had done this along with multiple readings in
connection with my preaching, teaching and studies. It was during these
readings that I started to notice certain contradictions. For instance,
we teach the doctrine of Original Sin from Genesis 3 but it is
contradicted in Ezekiel 18:1-22. If this basic doctrine is not true, the
whole foundation of all Christianity falls. I saw these things as I
read, and always stopped to ponder them, but never had time to research
them because of my studies, etc. Yes, during my 8 years of study, we
read through the Bible book-by-book, chapter-by-chapter and
verse-by-verse; however, we never did a cross study, so any
contradictions that are apparent were never addressed. Also, this was
the first time we studied Church History by actual history and not from
the Bible. It was at this point that I began to question Christian
Doctrines that were not in existence during the time of Jesus; rather,
they began 325 years later starting with the Doctrine of the Trinity.
The word "trinity" is not found in any Bible in the world, neither is it
in the original Greek and Hebrew languages [these were the original
languages that the Bible was written in]. This Doctrine [of Trinity] was
introduced at the first of 4 councils that determine Christianity today,
but because the Catholics at that time would not accept it-it had to be
reintroduced 68 years later, at the 2nd council of Nicaea. Through the
Doctrine of Incarnation, which makes Jesus both God and man, to the
Doctrine of Propitiation, or perfect sacrifice, the formulation of all
of these doctrines took more than 100 years.
I always had a hunger in my heart to know more of God. One day, I
went to my professor and stated, "There has to be more to Christianity
than what we teach. We tell the people they must be "Born Again"
(meaning you have made a personal statement and commitment to asking
Jesus Christ to come into your heart and forgive your sins and make you
a new person), or you must be "Filled with the Holy Spirit"-in addition
to being "Born Again" (in which the person will have an in-filling of
the Holy Spirit, experienced by glossolalia or speaking in tongues). (I
had both of these experiences, although they are not recognized as
necessary by all Christian churches or denominations.) There is a lot of
in-fighting and theological differences between denominations.
Protestants do not recognize Catholics as even being Christian because
they worship Mary, the mother of Jesus [peace be upon him] along with
various saints. Baptists do not have "fellowship" with non-Baptists. In
addition, there are Methodist, Wesleyan, Presbyterian, Congregational,
Pentecostal churches and a thousand independent churches that do not
belong to any denomination. They all differ on points of doctrine or
interpretation of the Bible. I felt that if what we were teaching were
genuine, there would be no need for denominations. There should be an
apparent change in society around us. Instead, society is in a decline
and in worse condition than it was even 50 years ago! The [so called]
Christian countries are among the worst. My professor was lost for words
and couldn't respond.
I went ahead and graduated with my Masters of Divinity (a degree in
Theology) in 1993. A month after graduating, I decided to study German.
One of my classmates was a medical doctor who had spent 6 years in
Dubai. We became friends and I noticed he was always asking me questions
concerning the Old Testament. I was, also, always asking him questions
concerning culture in the Middle East. (I was never interested in Islam,
although my major throughout my studies was in missions. We had studies
in Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Animism and Catholicism along with cults.
My interest was in Animism, or tribal worship.) When we were together, I
noticed he was different. He always wanted to pray, but in a Christian
context. When we were out, he was always giving money to the beggars. He
even had a plastic bag full of coins in the car for this purpose. One
day I mentioned to him that if I hadn't known better, I would have
thought he were Muslim. He confessed to me that when he was in Dubai, he
had embraced Islam, but had never told his family. When he returned to
the Philippines, he apostatized and was no longer praying or practicing
Islam. His family were devoted Catholics, although he was no longer
affiliated with the Catholic Church, rather the Protestant church. It
was within this same time frame that I met a Filipina who had embraced
Islam while working in Saudi Arabia. I was living in Manila at the time,
and although there are Muslims there, it's not like I was out looking
for them. I thought this was rather strange that I should meet two
people who were Muslims within such a short time. Knowing how God works
in my life through ordinary circumstances, I jokingly said, "Okay, God,
what are you trying to tell me?"
I asked her about Islam, and the first thing I asked concerned how
women were treated. It is well known (as we are taught in the west and
hear through the media) that Muslim women are second-class citizens with
no rights. She must hide herself in an abaya/purdah or covering because
her husband does not want anyone to see her. She must stay in the house
and along with this the husband has a right to beat her! I was stunned
by her answer. She said the wife and mother are highly respected in
Islam. She explained that women are covered is because it is the command
of Allah for the protection of women. She also explained that spousal
abuse is not a part of Islam at all. I was so sure that what I had been
taught was right and I was ready to give all of my sympathy to these
poor deprived Muslim women. Upon being told the truth, as opposed to the
fallacy I had been taught, I proceeded to ask her other questions: Who
is Allah, and who is Muhammad (peace be upon him) in relation to the
Muslims? At that time, I was teaching in the colleges, so my questions
were quite deep. She admitted to being somewhat of a new Muslim and that
although she could not answer all questions, she would accompany me to
the Islamic Center where someone could. Upon hearing this, I prayed
"Lord, (meaning Jesus at that time), if this is Satanic or Demonic (as
Christians are taught that Islam is) then show me. I will not go even
one time." After all, I wasn't about to open myself to some demonic
spirit. I didn't feel any hesitation, so I went with her [rather
cautiously]. I was quite surprised at their approach. I taught Church
Evangelism. I know that there are many strategies and methods to be used
when calling for someone to follow your religion. They didn't use any of
them! There was no psychological manipulation, no subliminal influence,
no harassment, none of this "let's have a Quranic study in your house"
as opposed to Christians using a Bible study, and no telephone calls.
They were straightforward and honest. They gave me some books and said
that if I had any questions they would be happy to answer them. I went
home that night and read all of the books they had given me. I was
fascinated and surprised. This was the first time I was actually reading
a book about Islam written by a Muslim! All the books we had ever read
during my 8 years of studies on Islam had been written by Christians.
These books reflected what they think Islam is. But what they think
Islam is and what Islam really is are two entirely different
perspectives. The Christians are sincere, but sincerely wrong. I went
back the next day and discussed for 3 hours what I had read. They gave
me some more books and I went home that night and read all of those
books. I went back the next day and we had another 3-hour discussion.
This went on for a week. At the end of that time, I had read 12 books
and had spent more than 15 hours in discussion. I studied 8 years in
formal Christian theological studies. At the end of that week, I knew
cognitively (head knowledge) that Islam is true. Did I embrace Islam
then? No, because even then I wasn't a hypocrite. It wasn't in my heart.
Among the first questions I asked that week was the question: Who is
Allah? We had been taught the God of the Muslims is a pagan god
(somewhat like the a Hindu god, but his name is Allah and this is the
one the Muslims worship). I was surprised to find out that Allah is The
Omniscient (All-Knowing), Omnipotent (All-Powerful) and Omnipresent
(All-Present) God. He is the Creator, Sustainer and Provider. This
certainly did not correspond with my studies in paganism, and I realized
"certainly, this is not a pagan god". There are neither rituals of
secrecy nor any mediator. He is The One and Only God, without partners.
This is opposed to the Doctrine of the Trinity where God is 3 beings:
Father, Son (Jesus) and Holy Spirit, all co-equal and co-eternal. We
would like to ask our Christian friends who Jesus was when he was
supposed to be dying on the cross and he said "Eli, Eli, Lama
Sabachtani? (My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?)" (Matthew 27:
46) Was he talking to himself? Perhaps you will say, "No, that was the
human part of Jesus" (Doctrine of the Incarnation where Jesus was made
both God and man) Man, you will say, to relate to human suffering. But
if you say this, then Jesus was not the perfect Sacrifice (Doctrine of
Propitiation) because according to Christian Doctrine, all men are born
with original sin (This is the sin placed upon mankind because of Adam
and Eve.) If he were born without this sin, he would be less than man,
and could not relate to temptation and suffering.
The second question I asked was: Who is Muhammad (peace be upon him)
in relation to the Muslims? I was surprised to learn that the Muslims do
not pray to Muhammad (peach be upon him) as the Christians pray to Jesus
(peace be upon him). The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is not a
mediator. Muslims ask Allah to bless him and his descendants as we
likewise ask Allah to bless the Prophet Abraham (peace be upon him) and
his descendents at the end of our prayers. He came with the same message
that all of the Prophets (peace be upon them all) brought, including
Jesus. This message is to worship The One True God-Allah. Moses spoke to
the people of Israel, "Hear O Israel! The Lord your God is ONE GOD and
you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your
mind, with all your strength." (Deuteronomy 6:4) Jesus (peace be upon
him) also delivered the exact same message, "Hear, O Israel, the Lord
your God is One God and you shall love the Lord you God with all your
heart, all your mind, with all your strength." (Mark 12:29,30) Note:
Jesus said ONE GOD, not three in one! Jesus, himself, (peace be upon
him) never claimed to be Son of God, which is what other people said of
him. He always referred to himself as son of man. Each Prophet came with
the same message, but there was a distinction in the deliverance of
their messages. The message of Moses (peace be upon him) was delivered
during the Plagues on Egypt. The distinction of Jesus (peace be upon
him) is the casting out of demons and raising the dead, all by the power
of Allah. The distinction of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) is
that the Holy Quran was revealed to a Prophet who could neither read nor
write. The message of Moses and Jesus (peace be upon them) was sent to a
specific people, the Jews. In the Bible, the words "Hear O Israel, Hear
O Israel" are repeated over and over by the Prophets, including Jesus.
The Holy Quran was not sent to a specific people although the Prophet
(peace be upon him) was Arab and the language is Arabic. Allah says in
the Holy Quran [more than 20 times] that Islam was sent to ALL MANKIND!
The third question asked was: What are the words of the prayer? Of
course we have all seen pictures of Muslims praying toward the Ka'bah in
Makkah. We used to think that the Muslims believe that the black cubical
is their god or they think their god is in there. This again shows the
ignorance that many non-Muslims, and Christians in particular, have
about the understanding of Islam. Since prayer and sanctification
(holiness) had always been of utmost importance to me as a Christian, I
was very interested to know the way and the words of the prayer.
They replied "first of all the approach to prayer is in
cleanliness-both physical and spiritual. Allah, The Creator of man is
the only one who has the right to say how we should come before Him in
prayer. Before, as a Catholic, I genuflected and made the sign of the
cross. Later, as a Protestant, we raised our hands singing, clapping,
shouting, dancing and crying. In our ignorance, we thought that this was
the right way to approach God. He tells us in the Holy Quran the exact
way we are to approach Him (chapter 5 verse 6). We are to wash our
hands, face, forearms, wipe over our heads and wash our feet. By doing
so, the minor sins we committed from those parts of our body are washed
away. We, then, assume a standing position while facing Makkah (the
focal point of our prayer), and raise our hands saying, "God is the
Greatest". After that, we say the first surah (chapter) of the Holy
Quran: "Praise be to God, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the world, The
Most Merciful, The Most Compassionate, Master of the Day of Judgment. It
is Thee we worship and Thy aid we seek. Show us the straight way. The
path of those upon whom You have bestowed favor, not of those who have
evoked [Your] anger or of those who are astray. (Surah 1 Ayahs 1-7) Then
again we raise our hands to our shoulders and say "God is the Greatest"
This is followed by bowing and placing the hands on the knees while
saying "Praise be to our Glorious Lord" 3 times or more. When rising to
a standing position, we say: "Allah hears who praises Him. Our Lord, for
you is all praise." Again the words, "God is the Greatest". Now the
worshipper will prostrate before Allah on the ground while saying,
"Glory to the Lord, the Great" 3 times or more. After that, he reclines
to a sitting position on his feet while asking Allah to forgive him his
sins and assumes again the prostrating position while repeating again
"Glory to the Lord, the Great" 3 times or more. I was so stunned at
hearing the words of this prayer that I blurted out "There is nothing
objectionable about this prayer! It is a prayer of praise to God!!!" The
words of the prayer and the execution are by direction of Allah as shown
to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) by Angel Gabriel (peace be
upon him). This is the way the Angels in heaven pray before the throne
of God. Imagine! The Muslims are the only people in the world who pray
like the Angels in heaven pray! Along with this, when one stops to
think, the Muslims are instructed to pray at stated times which
corresponds with the position of the sun. This means that with the
rotation of the earth only the Muslims are in continuous prayer before
the ONE AND ONLY MOST HIGH GOD-ALLAH 24 HOURS A DAY!
The last question I had concerned the authenticity of the Holy Quran.
The Bible is made up of 66 books (the Catholic Bible has more) and is
compiled by over 40 different authors. For some books the author is
either unknown or not stated, for instance, the book of Ruth in the Old
Testament and Hebrews in the New Testament. Although Hebrews is
attributed to Paul, his signature does not appear on it, and in the
middle of Hebrews, the style of writing changes. Of course, the average
Christian is not aware of this and unless you are studying for a
theological degree, you will not ordinarily find this out just by
reading the Bible. In the Bible, you are also dealing with two
languages: Hebrew in the Old Testament and Greek in the New Testament.
Neither of these languages is to be confused with the colloquial or
spoken languages of today. I have also never heard that Jesus spoke
Greek! I had to study both languages in course of my studies. I was
impressed to find out that the Holy Quran had only one author, that
being Allah-God Himself! At the beginning of every chapter, except for
one, it boldly states, IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MOST GRACIOUS, THE MOST
MERCIFUL, unlike the Bible which states in the Old Testament: The Book
of . . ., or in the New Testament which states: the Gospel according to
. . . [Matthew, Mark, Luke or John]. By the way, according to Biblical
scholars, Matthew, Mark and Luke were not the disciples of Jesus. They
were disciples of Peter and Paul. Mark is the first gospel written
around 68 AD. Many Biblical scholars feel that Matthew plagiarized from
Mark and that Mark had gotten some of his information from another
source called Q. Luke states in both his gospel and the book of Acts
that his accounts are only second hand. John's gospel was written about
100 AD. Like I said, unless you are studying theology, you don't find
these things out.
Another thing that impressed me is the fact that the Holy Quran has
remained unchanged in 1421 years!! What is read today is exactly
verbatim as it was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).
Those who are reading translations of the Holy Quran will usually find
the Arabic next to it. It must be remembered: a translation is not a
transliteration. (In every language, there will be variations in
grammatical style and structure, as well as phrases that cannot be
translated exactly. Therefore, translation is accomplished through
finding the meaning of what is said as well as the exact words that are
used. This is why every Muslim is encouraged to learn the Arabic of the
Quran.) Not only are our prayers said in the original language, but this
also means that Muslims are the only people on earth who are drawn
together by a common language. For instance, if a Chinese Muslim came to
the United States and could not speak English and the American Muslim
could not speak Chinese; they could communicate by using the Arabic of
the Quran.
Although, I did not embrace Islam that week, I started to attend the
Islamic lectures. Again, I sat there stunned by what I was learning.
Everything I had learned about Islam while studying for my Master's
degree was refuted in these classes. As a Christian we never knew that
the Muslims believe in the virgin birth of Jesus. We didn't even think
that they believed in Jesus at all! But if a Muslim does not to believe
in the virgin birth of Jesus, he/she is not a Muslim. I was also
surprised to know that Muslims believe that Jesus was taken into heaven
and will come again! Mary, the mother of Jesus, has a whole chapter of
Quran in the Holy Quran named after her, yet the Muslims don't worship
her or pray to her as the Catholics do! The Catholic and Protestant
Bibles have only a small paragraph devoted to her, "The Magnificent".
Surah Maryam is the name of the chapter called after her, the mother of
Jesus (peace be upon him).
I would go home from these classes and meditate, contemplating what I
was learning. Christianity had raised a lot of questions in my mind, yet
Islam was giving me the answers! Everyday I attended the lectures and
every night I read the Bible and every night I prayed, "God, show me if
this (Islam) is true." Somewhere along the line I had stopped saying
Jesus, stopped saying Holy Spirit, stopped saying "father". I was just
saying God [whoever you are] show me if this is true. When you ask the
Omniscient God to show you the truth, will He play a joke on you? It is
not easy to change your religion. I didn't want to lose my salvation,
but what if there was no salvation to lose? One night about two months
from the first time I had gone to the Islamic center, I had prayed this
prayer as I had been doing and went to bed. Somewhere between the state
of awake and asleep I physically felt something come into my heart.
Immediately being fully conscience, I sat up in bed and spoke out loud,
"Allah, I believe that your are ONE GOD AND ONE GOD ONLY." This was the
first time I had used the name of Allah. Although I heard others use it,
I never had spoken it myself until that time. After I had said that,
there immediately descended upon me a peace that Alhumdulillah has never
left me to this day.
My decision was not to be without repercussion. The Christians who
profess the love of Jesus and who so readily accuse others of
persecuting people for becoming Christian were the very ones to
perpetrate persecution on me. Of course, the first thing to go was my
job. I would no longer be able to teach in the Christian Colleges. You
can have a Christian teach about Islam, but you can't have a Muslim
teach about Christianity. I had already been a widow for 7 years at the
time I embraced Islam. That meant I must support myself. I still had 3
children I was financially responsible for out of 9.
The second thing to occur was that my husband's family disowned me.
My husband came from a very prominent family. His grandfather is in the
history books as a recognized hero, and his father had at one time been
governor. Although all 3 of them were dead, I had a close relationship
with his family, so much so that I was actually closer to them than to
my own family. After becoming a Muslim, I was told (in no uncertain
terms) that I was no longer a part of the family and not to join in any
of the family gatherings. There are members of the family still in
politics, and it was certainly not to their advantage to have a Muslim
in the family. I felt very hurt by this; as for many years I had a close
relationship with them. It was not on the basis of my being a Christian,
but because I was part of the family. When my husband died, it was his
family that I counted on for help raising my children, only now to be
turned away. I cried for 3 days, but whenever I made salah (obligatory
prayer) I had the peace of knowing I had made the right decision.
My own children were to be another source of contention. At this
point, all of my children, except for one son who was with me, were in
the United States. As I was attending the Islamic Center, I was sharing
with them through letters what I was learning. After I embraced Islam,
my oldest daughter (who happens to work for the headquarters of the
church in which I was affiliated for 18 years) wrote me letter and said,
"Don't you know that Islam is one of the most Satanic religions?" I
responded by sending her some booklets and she wrote back and said,
"DON'T TRY TO CONVERT ME!" I explained to her that it was forbidden for
us by Allah to force our religion on anyone, but that I had thought she
might like to read them to see what it is I believed.
As a parent, when you are experiencing some difficulty with one of
your wayward children, you usually call a meeting of the close relatives
[grandmother, aunt, cousin] who might have some influence over the
situation. Well, I found out later that my children had a meeting about
me! Mother is the problem and Islam is the culprit! Like most big
families, there is a dividing line among sets of children. The 3 oldest
are the bosses, the 3 middle ones are the fighters and the younger ones
have no say. While the discussion was in hot pursuit, the oldest ones
were vehemently opposed to the whole situation, the middle ones said,
"This is our mother and it is her decision. She is not forcing it on us.
We want to continue to be close to her and we want her also to be close
to her grandchildren." When I finally went to the States, the older ones
wanted to argue and had put up a wall that prevented any discussion. On
the other hand, the middle ones were open and full of questions. Our
conversations were just that-meaningful conversations-that took place in
the course of natural conversation. One daughter even made a statement
that I was nicer as a Muslim than when I was a Christian! This surprised
me because, as a Christian, I had always tried to exemplify what I
believed.
When I am in the States, I still wear abaya and hijab. This same
daughter made another startling statement. She said she could tell when
a Muslim man was looking at me! I was curious as to how she came to this
conclusion, since I am not looking at men to begin with, and most Muslim
men in the States are not wearing any distinguishing dress (most not
even a beard). So I asked her how she could tell. She told me, "When
they look at you, it is different. They look at you with respect." After
6 years, the older ones have finally accepted that I am a Muslim and, by
the will of Allah, will not change back to Christianity. They accept,
not approve. The others said that they see Islam is a way of life unlike
Christianity where you go to church, then go ahead and do anything you
like. In other words, it calls for a change of lifestyle.
My son, who had been living with me when I embraced Islam, was not
interested in religion (Christianity or Islam) at the time. He was 18
and religion was not in his lifestyle. Sometime after I had lost my
teaching position, I was asked to start and manage a women's section at
the Islamic center. Every week, I would bring home books and neatly put
them on the dining room table and every day they were still there.
Periodically, I would change them, hoping that he would read them and
ask me some questions. He never did. Several times that year, I had some
of the brothers from the Islamic center come and talk to him. He was
always polite, but uninterested. One day someone talked to him and there
was a spirit of conviction on his face. He asked me, "Why didn't you
tell me this?" I was stunned and mentioned that I had left the books
there, hoping he would read them and ask me questions. He then told me
that when I would leave the house, he and his friends would read them
and then put them back! Also, I had an Adhan (call for prayer) clock and
he said when I was out of the house and he was alone, he would play it
over and over! His name is now Omar. He left his old lifestyle and
friends and is also working in Saudi Arabia.
He has been more successful than me in talking to his older sisters
about Islam. As of yet, no one else in the family has embraced Islam,
but we continue to make duah (supplications) for them. Insha'Allah, I
will live to see at least some of my children and grandchildren become
Muslim's. I have never regretted becoming a Muslim and pray that Allah
will give me the Iman (faith) of the Sahaba (companions of the Prophet,
[peace be upon him]).
Say: Indeed my Lord has guided me to a straight path-a correct
religion-the way of Abraham, inclining toward truth. And he was not
among those who associated others with Allah. Say: Indeed, my prayer, my
rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying are for Allah, Lord of the
worlds. No partner has He. And this I have been commanded, and I am the
first [among you] of the Muslims. Holy Quran : Surah Al-An'am : 161-163
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